Posted on 4th July 2018
This island of ours is a remarkable place.
You can order stuff and be certain* that it will arrive.
We can receive your order, prepare it and be certain* that someone will come and pick it up.
We can be certain* that they will take all of the stuff they pick up and take it to a depot.
Certain* that there it will be assigned another depot, which it will reach that night.
That overnight computers are calculating routes for trustworthy drivers to follow when they certainly* show up for work tomorrow.
We can all be certain* that they will deliver that stuff to you and your neighbours that very day.
* not guaranteed.
Think of it like a sailing race, with highly trained crews operating sleek boats.
You - dear customer - are like the wind.
(A wild frightening element, adding massive unpredictability.)
We would like to tell you exactly when your stuff would arrive, and then you could be there to meet it - but what if your neighbour is on the school run?
Now the crew have to go about, which the computer didn't anticipate, and suddenly Bond is loose in this elaborate metaphor.
So in the real world we dont ship until we have talked to you and agreed a suitable day, when hopefully* your goods will arrive.
Next article: GDPR
Previous article: Weight Limit (Reprise)